My Double Down Experience

Today is the day of the Canadian Double Down release.  Suprisingly, I couldn't find one friend to join me for lunch today, so I had to go it alone and take down the ground-breaking sammy on my own.

The first thing I noticed about what I would like to call "The Double Down Experience" was the feeling I had before ordering it.  Even on my walk to KFC, I had this ominous feeling in my soul that I couldn't shake.  Like a boy with a potato cannon aimed at a hornets nest, I knew that the outcome of this event was not likely to be a good one - hell it might even hurt - but the excitement of the unknown was too much to bare and I had to follow through with my plan.

Once inside the 'restaurant', I was amazed to find this feeling multiplied by everyone inside.  It was as though everyone in the restaurant had been given a handful of explosives and a jar of pickles and was told, "Don't think about it, just do it. Trust me".  We were all living in this strange little deep-fried bubble with smug grins on our faces; each person behind the counter thinking, "I can't believe they're doing this," and each person in front thinking, "I can't believe we're doing this".  If heroin were ever legalized, this is what the local Smack Market would feel like.  A collective of like-minded people who'd overcome their best judgment just to make it in the building, only to find a brotherhood inside repeating, "Fuck it if it ain't good for me, I have to try this."

After ordering the meatwich, I heard the 'cook' in the back room behind that little half-wall mutter: I hate these things. 

Once the two plumbers in line before me had received their Double Down COMBOS, I received my order from the lovely young dame behind the counter and headed home.  It took me a long time to decide whether or not I would want to remain in this surreal atmosphere to complete my experience, but not knowing what the final outcome of this sandwich would bring and how it would effect me I opted for the comfort and privacy of my own surroundings.  That, and I still felt like I shouldn't be seen in public downing one of these bad boys.

Is it bad that opening up the box to this thing was probably more exciting than Christmas morning?  I really didn't know what to expect, and what I saw inside certainly surprised me.  It never crossed my mind that what the Double Down Sandwich looks like in a picture on an ad may not be what it looks like in reality.  It's not quite the neat little package you'd expect.  The Double Down is a greasy, saucy, messy little number that may not be as photogenic as it's famous advertised brother.  "I thought this thing was supposed to come in a little sleeve?!" was my first thought.  My second thought was that I'd likely have to rub some acne lotion on my fingers after this was done - there is no escaping the finger lickin' goodness of this sloppy joe.

For me, the dining experience went like this:  A little bland.  Whoa, there's the bacon.  Hey now, there's the cheese.  Holy smokes, that's a lot of sauce.  Oh shit, things are starting to slide.  Hey, where the hell did that go?!  It's one of those grease pucks that you have to battle to get down, and before you know it she's all gone.

At first, the amount of chicken passing the gums seems somewhat boring.  It's very greasy, and you may begin to think that this wasn't such a good idea after all.  This is where you need to be strong and soldier on, because what awaits you next is a greasy rainbow of KFC flavour.  Cheese, bacon and lots-o-sauce hit the tastebuds like Shaq power bombing a 13 year old gymnast from the top rope, and in the same way you will end up scraping much of this mess off the floor.  Things get a little melty and messy, but at least you don't have the ass end of the burger sliding out the back door of the bun.  By the time you're done you will feel a lot of things, both inside and out, but one thought that is sure to stick in your mind is: That was totally worth it.

So get out there and get some grease you dirty dogs!!  Be sure to check out KFC Canada's Double Down page where you can upload pics of yourself conquering the experience.  As they say on the site, "There are two types of people: those who have Doubled Down and those who can't."  If you're any friend of mine, I know you can.

4/5 Greasy Napkins, including bonus points for the experience.