The Huntsville Wing Review: Muskoka On The Rocks

Plopped on the side of HWY 60 between Penn Lake and Hillside, Muskoka On The Rocks used to draw a nice local crowd on Thursday night for their tasty and well-cooked wings. Like Scotch on ice, these wings were a simple but delicious blend of classic flavours with a crispy texture that was hard to beat. None of us had dropped into MOTR for some time, a few years in fact, but were eagerly musing nostalgia as we walked in the door. Well many of Huntsville wing nuts will stand by Moose Delaney's as the place to be for wings, I always had it in my head that MOTR had them beat with their quality offering.

 At first glance, it seemed as though not much had changed since the last time we were here. Certainly there wasn't the crowd that we were used to seeing during visits several summers ago, but comparing summer to a winter crowd in Huntsville is like comparing Lady Gaga to flannel underwear. Jazz music, candlelit tables and all sorts of antique signage present a relaxing, cottage-like atmosphere that could put Grandpa to sleep in five seconds flat. Greeted at the door by our server, I immediately had that unmistakable feeling that I'd done something wrong. In the same way that driving past a cop makes you question which law you're breaking, I clenched up and couldn't shake the feeling that we weren't welcome.

 

Seated quickly (as most tables were open,) we noticed that we were sitting at a plastic, fold-out table: just like at the cottage - how chic. Without hesitation, we pissed off our server by asking her what beers were on tap; little did we know they were posted directly above our heads. A broad variety available impressed us as the draft in MOTR is hard to find anywhere else in Huntsville. The same cannot be said for their wings, which are offered in a disappointing five flavours. Mild, medium, hot and honey garlic are as common to a wing joint as fights outside of Pizza Pizza on a Friday night, so we were all curious to try their unique flavour, Louisiana Hot. I also have to mention that they make all of their sauces in-house. Variety is becoming an important part of a wing joint, with some of these bloated chain stores offering over one-hundred flavours, but if you can pull off the classics better than anyone else I can certainly excuse you for a lack of choice.

To further my paranoia, the server seemed to ignore our empty mugs for some time and I began to think that she'd pegged us as trouble makers. Certainly, the sea of arctic snowy hair surrounding us would put our crowd at the top of her danger list, but we always make a point of acting the courteous gentlemen that we are. As our wings came out, so did our score cards (which we always try to keep hidden). "What are you guys drawin," she asked us inquisitively. "Chickens." It's become interesting to watch an instant change in mood and professionalism when we pull out white sheets of paper and pens. It's like we've all become American Idol judges waiting for the performance of a lifetime. I wish there was a way to avoid this, as we are trying to experience each place as the normal customers that we are, but the effect is always noticed. Soon our mugs were refilled and we were given sour cream to dip our wings in - her personal favourite, which was actually pretty good.

The wings. Uhhhhh, hmm. 'Sally plain and tall' was one comment that came out during our meal and that pretty much sums it up. The house made hot sauce came subject to contention, some judges enjoying the unique flavour and others finding it "too ketchupy". Louisiana honey was unfortunately boring and had much more tang than zip. Also, for a wing night offering $4.89/lb as their special half-price deal, this seemed far too expensive. Where was the crunch, the flavour, that high class wing that we all remembered?! With memories of a great wing spot melting faster than Chris Farley's edible undies, one judge ordered some pie to liven up the mood. This proved to be the best order of the night.

Were these wings what we remembered salivating over years ago? Not at all, and it's sad to see an obvious slip in QC muck up a wing night. Perhaps the season has effected the product; with a $12.99 pan seared Basa Fillet sharing the specials board with our wings, their focus may have shifted as the customers have seemed to. This is not your typical wing crowd, legitimized as we overheard a close table noticing our wings and deciding "nah". This place may be much more "On the Rocks" than advertised, but I sincerely hope not.

Final markings displayed our disappointment. Atmosphere scored a 4.2/5, with some judges enjoying the feeling that you could take a nap in a rocking chair. Meatiness was better than average, 4/5. Temperature was good, 3.9. Flavour was the area that MOTR used to own, but has slipped in the past few years, 3.2. Our service was a bit of a roller coaster, and this is one of those times that a late push didn't make up for a slow start, 3.4. The bonus category has been somewhat of a saving grace for past reviews, but not in this case, 2.6. Final mark was a 21.3/25, our lowest mark to date. This was a real upset in the minds of most judges, who wondered if we'd set the mark too high. Were our expectations too unrealistic, and are we becoming prima donnas when it comes to judging wings?! Hell no, this is as real as it gets and we are serious about this business. Represent.

Next review, THE MOOSE! The mighty, mighty Moose. Huntsville's fave. But was it ours...

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