Hey buds, how's your PBT doing these days? Oh, you don't have one? Well then you are stupid, because if you did you could already be crossing off huge milestones on The Personal Bacon Tracker by The Bacon Institute for Bacon (a subsidiary of Flummox Industries). Whether you're checking the Momentous Achievement of 100 Pieces of Bacon Consumed, or reaching for the mile low club, a Mindnumbing Achievement at 400 Pieces of Bacon Consumed, we are absolutely certain that this type of information should be kept track of frivolously. How else is The Bacon Institute for Bacon supposed to accurately guage Bacon Consumption for the purposes of Bacon Production?! Common.
What the heck are you doin?! Get over to Flummox Industries and order yours for a mere $45 NOW! 
the PBT does not and cannot register the total amount of bacon that has passed from gums to bum in this old timer.... I'm figuring at least 100 pieces x 50 years - that's 5,000 pieces of bacon consumed ... rookies!
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